Monthly Archives: September 2014

Going Crazy

Getting rid of Rumination, Worry and Judgment/Self-Criticism is not as easy as you think. Kicking those friends out of your life is hard work. You’ll find them to be fairly pesky fellows who will work hard to sneak in the back door to occupy your house again.

What I have found is that the majority of my thoughts are unconscious. Here I’m distinguishing between two types of unconscious thoughts: one which are those totally outside our awareness, and the other are those to whom we’re just not paying any attention. Maybe they really are the same thing, but to me they are slightly different.

Paying attention to our thoughts can sometimes be crazy making. Maybe that’s why there is so much hype about getting into the moment or practicing meditation. If you’ve ever laid in bed at night and wished you had a shut off switch for your mind, you know what I mean.

It’s a delicate dance to start listening to the messages our brain is giving us. When we start to pay attention to what we are thinking, we really can start feeling like we’re going nuts. After all, thinking is like hearing voices in our heads.

Wha wha what? You hear voices in your head? Lock that girl up! She is cra- cra- crazy.

For me, I really can start feeling nuts when I observe my thoughts, especially when I am thinking in 2nd person. Usually that is my critical voice (sneaking in the back door) telling me something I should or should not do. Most the time I’m not paying enough attention to recognize this switch in my thinking.

It’s not always critical, however. I first observed this a many years ago as I was driving to work. It was nearing my 45th birthday and I was wondering what I wanted to do to celebrate. In the middle of exploring different ideas I heard myself think, “well, what do you want to do, Shannon?”

Whoa. Who are you? Who is speaking to me? Who am I? Where is the nearest looney bin?

More often I hear this line of thinking as a “You really should …” or “I can’t believe you …”. In the beginning I spent some time trying to get rid of that voice in my head, but quickly realized paying too much attention to it really did make me start to feel crazy. So now, I just observe when it comes up and pay attention to where it might be coming from.

I asked a few people if they also talked to themselves in that second person voice, and the response was about 50/50. I envy the people who only have the “I” voice and wonder if maybe they just didn’t grow up with a critical parent. Or in a critical society.

If you’re on Facebook, leave a comment as to your experience. As you start to pay attention to what you are thinking, do you ever call yourself by name? Do you always use “I” or do you ever hear yourself saying “you”?

Three Friends to Break Up With

You probably wouldn’t call them your friends. However, I’d venture to guess you have the same three fairly constant companions I do. It’s time to break this trio up and find some new compadres!

Meet my friend Rumination. Now, just because he’s a deep thinker is no reason to break up, however, this guy can be a bit tricky. Replaying and obsessing over negative situations and stories can quickly become a habit. Inevitably the result is depression because listening to the same sound track over and over again can be pretty crazy making.

A close relative and oft times frequent visitor is Worry. While Rumination tends to live in the past, Worry is usually associated with the future. The “what if’s” of the world can take up a whole lot of our time and attention. Every now and then I’ll play the “so what then” game with this fellow and play out my worries beyond ridiculous. But Worry isn’t a good bedfellow and will always keep you up at night.

Judgment for me usually doesn’t come as an external friend but more a self-critical fellow. When I stop to think that we are all one then to judge myself is to judge others. So, I’ve been consciously practicing self-compassion as I kick this one to the curb.

These three tricksters steal the present moment and keep us from embracing the now. When I heard someone mention them, I knew immediately they were three friends of mine that I had to break up with right away. So, I’m declaring my intention to rid myself of these miscreants and find some new friends.

Not a typical blog for me today, as it’s a bit different style. But I’m mixing it up and this was on my mind after a conversation last night. I hope perhaps you enjoyed a change of pace … and maybe give it a second thought next time you find one of these three unwelcome visitors!

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The 5 Keys to Happiness – Or Not

I was talking to a friend who suggested perhaps my blog audience wasn’t growing because, those in the midst of the same search for meaning as I am, want answers. People don’t want to hear about the struggles or the process of getting there. We all want a quick fix.

Then, I came home and found something I had written last year. In reading it, I am reminded that this journey started long ago and will continue hopefully many years to come. I share it here because by doing so I remind others that you are not alone.

There are people who will tell you they have the answers. They will give you the 5 keys to happiness or the 10 steps to financial freedom. However, at the end of the day what we all have is another sunset and a deep yearning in our heart to feel connected.

If you resonate with anything I write than I am making a connection. My purpose is to share love, not to give you the answers. And I give this to you freely.

Written sometime in 2013 …

It doesn’t matter what I do, where I go … What matters is who I am. Who am I in each moment? How do I choose to live and breathe and respond to the people around me?

I’ve been searching so long for this dream “job” … For my life mission, passion, place on the world. I’ve prayed. I’ve asked. I’ve dreamed, visualized and tried to find clarity. Years keep slipping by and I don’t feel any closer to knowing the answer other than this … That I am. I am a unique expression in the world. I see people and I love. Can this be enough for me?

What is missing? Yes, surely another person to share my depth of love and life with … To breathe in each others breath, to hold, to stare into each others eyes and feel the connection of our oneness. And yet it is as if I think finding that one will complete me. As if then I will be and know happiness.

I have spent so many years in pursuit of happiness. In pursuit of love or recovering from love lost. Life keeps spinning by faster and faster and I am searching and searching and realizing there is no finding.

Life is made up of these individual moments. It is made up of love and suffering. Of hope and disappointment. Of good and bad. There is no point where we arrive and I will always find myself here … Trying to find out why I feel discontent. Trying to heal or fill the void. Looking for answers to these questions of meaning and purpose.

What if it were really as simple as returning to the present. But of course it is that simple. It is perhaps our egoic mind that wants things more complicated. Always the challenge to be fully in the present moment without drifting off into past, future or the multitude of thoughts that barrage us every day.

Return, return again. This theme forever present … Awakening and slumbering. Drifting off again looking outside myself for the answers. Judging myself for drifting off. The vicious cycle of feeling as if nothing changes.

And yet it is the nothingness that does not change that is my salvation. It is the nothingness that is the I am … For the seeker is the one who remains unchanged.

And all the changes this seeker called me has made … All the growth, the learning, the lessons … They are all beautiful and polishing of my essence, but my essence is still the same; will always be the same. It is the essence that asked the same questions at 17 I ask at 50 … Who am I?

And always, always the answer … I am.

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The Life I Am Living

I’d forgotten the biggest disadvantage of only earning enough money to pay bills. It doesn’t allow much of a buffer when unexpected expenses arise. A check engine light equates to the feeling of a pit in the stomach. Welcome to my world.

A couple of weeks ago I cleaned out my car and signed up with Lyft. It’s a ride sharing service alternative to a taxi. For a week I had my phone app in driver mode, ready to accept rides, but had no requests. So much for making a living cruising around town.

This week I’ve been turning my phone to driver mode when I leave my part time job in Cary. It’s more central to Research Triangle Park, and certainly not as remote as where I live in Chatham county. Heading home the first day, still no ride requests.

On my second day, however, I had my first “BING” notification that a ride was requested. Whoo Hoo! Lyft drivers have about 20 seconds to either accept or reject a request, so I quickly clicked ACCEPT. The address for pick up pops up, I click on “navigate”, and I’m on the way.

I called the customer to let him know I was about 15 minutes out. I realize now that wasn’t necessary as they can see the location of the nearest driver when they make the request. However, I’m glad I called as my ride gave specifics of which building I was to go to when I arrived.

I pulled up to the address specified and went to tap the Lyft application “I’ve arrived” button, but it wasn’t there. Confused, I hit redial to call the rider again, only to discover all calls get routed through the Lyft system. I got a recording saying “you are not on an active ride so we cannot complete your call.”

I looked at my phone again. The Lyft app said “waiting for passenger requests”. Then I noticed there was a text message. “Aniel has canceled the Lyft request.”

Disappointed, I pulled out of the apartment complex and headed back home. I had taken about 20 minutes out of my schedule, been on a toll road to get there, and was 15 miles off my normal route home. However, I had been warned by my Lyft “mentor” that this sort of thing happens.

Fortunately, I wasn’t very far down the road when my phone BINGS again. It was a new request, back to the same address. Okay, then – let’s try this again.

This time I’m able to click “I’ve arrived” and a super friendly gentleman from India climbs into my car. He explains he canceled the first ride because he had made it from his friends phone and re-did the request from his. The address where he wants to go shows up in my application; I press navigate and off we go.

He told me he uses Lyft at least twice a day. He also uses Uber, the other car driving service, although he said he prefers Lyft because it is less expensive. I drove him about 5 minutes away to a friends house and dropped him off.

As a driver I then have the opportunity to “rate” him as a customer. The Lyft application tells me I will never be paired again with someone I rank 3 stars or less. I gave him 5 stars since he was a friendly passenger.

He has the option to add a tip and rank me as well. If I understand the system correctly, if I don’t maintain positive feedback, I won’t be able to continue as a Lyft driver. I’m not too worried about that since I’m one of those people who have never met a stranger.

If you’re wondering by now what all this has to do with my check engine light, well it is connected. Driving home the next day I again accepted a Lyft request only to then see the dreaded light. Not a good thing to have showing when picking up a ride.

I covered up the light on my dashboard with an “awakeninginlove.com” business card. I didn’t want to take the chance of the rider giving me bad feedback because my car needs attention. At the time I was more concerned about that then what the light actually might mean for my pocket book.

This rider turned out to be a couple on their way to dinner at a local pub. The guy told me he never drives if he is going to drink. Super smart guy, huh?

I’m chatting with them about how they are only my second ride. I share how I was laid off and signed up with Lyft to earn a little extra money. The guy explains he too had been laid off before so he understands what I’m going through.

When I ask him what he does now I find out he is the regional marketing manager for a large assisted living chain. Eureka! Here is a potential network opportunity for a real job. He gives me his business card and assures me he will make sure my resume gets to the right place.

Whoa. Did you catch that? I wrote “real job.” As if the one I have now is a fake one. Language is a funny thing.

At the moment I can’t find his business card. However, I’m thinking it’s in the console of my car. My car … well, it’s at the mechanics. There will be no Lyft driving for me today.

I don’t know that I want to work as a marketing manager for a large assisted living chain. From what I’ve read, those jobs are super high pressure and super long hours. Not to mention I’ve seen some pretty poor care being provided in some places.

Still, it’s an interesting consideration. I’ve never had my life be in such flux before. As such, I am fascinated with this exploration of my choices. A job as a marketing director of an assisted living chain would most likely mean I wouldn’t have to worry about how much I need to pay for the car repair.

But then, I’d be worried about something else. I’d be stressed if I wasn’t making my quotas. I’d be rushed to make sure I was at work on time. I’d be complaining I was working too many hours.

Todays blog is a bit longer than my last two, but I see a theme emerging. I’m still putting all the pieces together as the picture comes in focus. But I’m thinking this journey is perhaps less about creating a life I love and more about trusting the life I am living.

Singing the Blues

Home after another day of hard but rewarding work. I am chilled to the bone and exhausted. A steady, consistent rain has permeated this day and seems to have seeped through my raincoat and clothes into my skin. Days like this are only good if you have a loved one or a good book with nothing to do but stay in bed.

My cats greet me with a strange mixture of indifference, disdain and relief. I suspect they had gotten used to my schedule of either working from home or being gone for four days traveling for my old job. A rather feast or famine for them when it comes to attention.

They aren’t used to my being gone all day and then coming home at night. For that matter, neither am I. It feels strange to have so little time here now. And I’m not even putting in a full 8 hour day at work.

I remember I used to complain of either having too many weeks in a row on the road, or too many weeks in a row at home. My previous job was often like that, and either extreme would make me antsy. Towards the end of my sales career, it was a lot of time at home and very little time on the road.

I think back now and I am struck again by how fortunate I was in that position. There is very little that will spoil you faster than being able to work out of your house. Combine that with getting paid to hop on an airplane, fly somewhere new, stay in a nice hotel, eat delicious expense paid meals, and have very little pressure to meet sales goals. Yes, I lived a blessed life.

Holy cow! How presumptuous of me to say I was going to focus on creating a life I love after that one ended. What was there not to love already?

Sure, my boss could be a bit of a jerk sometimes. But there were other times he was over the top kind and considerate. Compared to some stories I hear of bad bosses, I worked with a saint.

So really, what was there to complain about? Why didn’t I love my life before I got laid off? What made me think I needed to create a life I love now? The statement itself indicates I’d been living a life I didn’t.

As I ponder this, I am struck by how many of us find something to complain about or to blame for keeping us from our happiness. I realize now that’s what I’ve done and I’m aware of the temptation to do it again. We live in a culture that encourages us to sing the blues.

Somewhere, in the middle of all of this, I know there is a very real balance between acknowledging what isn’t working and what is just perhaps an inconvenience when it comes to our day-to-day lives. I wish I’d spent more time really appreciating what I had and less time complaining. And I’m determined not to make that mistake again.

This isn’t to say I don’t have things to sing the blues about right now. I’m also not trying to just skip over or mask my feelings by only focusing on the positive. There are plenty of complaints and subtle dissatisfactions simmering underneath the surface.

I just don’t want to look back on this time of my life and want to shake myself. I want to stay aware enough that I’m taking it all in: the good and the not so good. I want to make sure I don’t lose my perspective.

One of my cats is curled up on my lap purring. My house is dry and warm. My bills are paid and my stomach is full.

I am learning that creating a life I love doesn’t mean I have to go off and have some huge grandiose career. Creating a life we love starts in the moment of stopping and appreciating what we have. It may not be perfect, but then we never know if – in a future time – we might look back and see that actually it really is.

Changing Seasons

The fall equinox passes and the next day the end of summer is fully reflected by the chill in the air. For me, it seemed as if things changed over night. All of a sudden those warm lazy days are gone.

It’s hard to believe there was a time I said Fall was my favorite season. In retrospect I think it’s because I lumped it in with Spring, since both seasons have temperatures between 60 and 80. Granted that’s a pretty large window, but essentially it’s that perfect “not too hot” and “not too cold” period of time.

This year I feel unprepared and nostalgic at summers end. The time went too quickly and there is so much I had intended to do which is left undone. My ideas for a beach trip or lazy tube trip down the mountain river never materialized.

Ironic I should be asking where the time went when I had more of it than most people. One would think that being unemployed half of July and all of August would mean I had nothing but time. I did not, however, find that to be the case.

Sometimes it is only when something is taken away that we fully realize what we had and wish we had it back. There were days I never left the house. Rather than playing and enjoying what equated to paid time off while on severance pay, I stressed and worried about the future.

Now that I am working part-time and able to pay the bills, I am less stressed out and worried. However, I am also more tired and have less time. It’s by choice so this isn’t a complaint, just an observation.

I’m also observing how really fortunate I have been in many of my previous employment jobs. I confess I had 8 years working for the State and was one of those state workers who didn’t really work very hard. Nor in the seven years afterwards did I put in the long hours that most successful sales people employ. Quite frankly, I’ve had a pretty cushy work life.

Perhaps I’m making up for that now with the work I’ve chosen to do in my part time gig cleaning and acting as a Personal Assistant. However, what I am really experiencing is an increased awareness of how everything has both benefits and costs. There are always upsides and downsides to what we do.

All this makes me think even more about what it means to be creating a life I love. Even as I come off spiritual bypass, I am reminded that there is a lot of truth to how our attitude and framing of events influences our experience. And so I am thinking of what this means for my present experience as well as for my future.

Summer is over. As we get older, time moves faster. As with so much in life, we can choose to stay stuck in wanting things to be different, or we can accept things as they are and move on. First, however, I will allow myself to feel the sadness and linger just a little longer in that wishful thinking for the hot sun beating down and cool waves lapping at my feet …

A Curve in the Path

The idea of getting a part time job to help pay the bills while I am establishing myself as a writer and speaker seems sound. Even if at the moment it may not feel so great. I figured if I can make between $20-$25 per hour, then I can work 20 hours a week and pay the mortgage.

I’m figuring by now the Universe has heard me loud and clear since I’ve been saying I don’t want to go back to the corporate world. So, even if I was to spend more energy and effort submitting applications into that black hole, I doubt much would come out of it. Still, it’s the go to solution for most everyone in my position.

Lose your job, re-write your resume, send out as many as you can. For the majority of people this is what happens when they get laid off. The objective is to find another job as soon as possible.

Dreaming of being a motivational speaker and successful author, I decided to take a different route and create my dream life instead. I bought a domain, developed this website and started to blog. I forged enthusiastically forward with confidence I can create anything to which I set my mind.

Sure, I spent a little time half heartedly rewriting the old resume’, beefing up my LinkedIn network, and looking at job posting advertisements. I even drafted a couple cover letters and sent out an application or two. No harm done by keeping all my options open, right?

I also dusted off an old business idea and spent a little time considering doing that as a way to earn a little extra dough. I looked at some franchise opportunities that were similar. I shared the idea with a few people and posted the business service offering on the neighborhood listserv.

In the end I wasn’t convinced my idea was sound enough to make a go of it. So I didn’t keep at it to really find out. I’m also finding my confidence in actually making a go of it as a speaker and writer is fading with time. After all, there are thousands if not hundred of thousands of people trying to do the same thing.

Now, in the middle of dealing with my doubts and fears, I’ve discovered I’ve been practicing spiritual bypass most of my life. Essentially this is the use of spiritual practices or beliefs to avoid dealing with painful feelings. My entire framework of “tell a better feeling story” is coming crashing down all around me.

Positive thinking is the bedrock of my spiritual belief. As I have said before, the meaning we give to the events of our lives is in direct proportion to the quality of our life. In this statement I’ve indicated that when we can interpret all events as happening for our highest good and growth, we can live happier and healthier lives.

Yes, I have given lip service to becoming friends with my fear and the importance of feeling our feelings. However, in general I’ve stayed pretty lofty in my idealism and heady in my thoughts. I really don’t spend very much time listening to my body.

So perhaps it should come as no surprise that the part time job that seemed like such a sound idea leaves me very acutely aware of my body. A cushy state job for 8 years, followed by 7 years in an easy sales job, didn’t prepare me for being on my feet 8 hours. Cleaning is hard work.

My commitment to my readers is to share what I’m going through. And I may be stretching to use the term “my readers” since I haven’t yet developed much of a mass market of followers. Still, my writing is about sharing the journey and this is where my journey is taking me.

I am grateful to have a regular part time job where I can work as much or as little as I want. I am relieved I won’t have to worry about not having the money to pay the mortgage. And I am thankful to be acutely aware of my body and my emotions.

I’m not giving up hope on being a writer and a speaker, although I’m less inclined to want to join the spiritual gurus who would have you meditate to dull the ache we all feel in our search for greater meaning. I’m still determined to create a life I love and exploring what that means. My personal growth continues to unfold.

I recently wrote something my mother had said to me about just living the best honest life I can. I’ve submitted it to a few sites which require unpublished writing, so I can’t share it here yet. However, I will write more soon about this subtle shift in my thinking and the more radical one of coming off spiritual bypass.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep writing and keep sharing. Thank you for reading and being a part of my journey. Every day is an amazing opportunity to begin anew.

Authenticity and Connection

In my mind what we all hunger for is someone to let down the barriers and connect with us in real, deep and intimate ways. I know for me, I’ve always wanted to feel seen. If we’re not being authentic, we can’t really see each other.

I’ve realized over the years that my need to feel seen was a part of my search for validation of my worthiness outside of myself. I also realized that not everyone wants to be seen. Also, while we can’t feel seen or really see others without authenticity, being authentic is really about something much, much more.

I think Brene’ Brown expresses it beautifully in her quote: “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

What can be tricky is the part about “being seen” because it can be easy to get that mixed up with wanting approval. If I want someone to see me as a wise and insightful mentor, for example, then I might not show the parts of me that aren’t always so wise. The key words here are “choice” and “true selves.”

In each moment we make a choice how we are going to interpret and respond to the people, places and events around us. Much of the time this choice is not even conscious. Part of awakening is getting off auto-pilot and being more conscious of the choices we make.

Being our true self becomes much easier when we learn to love ourselves, even with all of our perceived faults and flaws. It becomes less important to hide those parts of ourselves we feel ashamed of if we have accepted our humanness. As we embrace and accept the totality of who we are and share that openly with others, we find that we are not alone.

Putting these together, what we have is the choice to love ourselves so that we may more fully love each other. We are all here doing the best we can with what we have. We all make mistakes. We all stumble and fall.

As we accept this pattern and stop striving for perfection, we begin to live more from our authentic self. Sharing with others from that open hearted space invites others to do the same. We can then come together and experience the deeper connections we desire.

What’s your choice?

Musings on Mastin Kipp

I’m in Asheville, having bought a ticket to Mastin Kipp’s book tour event happening tomorrow night. For those of you who haven’t heard of Mastin Kipp, he is founder of the Daily Love and author of what I’m sure is going to be a best selling book, Growing into Grace. In many ways he is a role model for what I have dreamed of doing: improving the life of others in a big way.

Mastin is considered the leader of a new generation. He is in his early 30’s and his writings are full of authentic spiritual new age wisdom with a whole lot of love mixed in. He joins (or is joined by) other up and coming “young” spiritual vanguards such as Kris Carr and Gabrielle Bernstein.

Interestingly enough, I am NOT Mastin Kipps target audience. Not by a long shot. Of course I might be surprised when I show up at Malaprops bookstore to hear him speak tomorrow, but I suspect I’ll be one of the oldest people there.

I used to say I wanted to be the next Wayne Dyer. For most people in the self-help field, Wayne Dyer is a well known name. He is an internationally best-selling author of more than 30 books and a highly-sought after motivational speaker. And it is Mastin Kipp who is on track to be the next Wayne Dyer.

I’d venture to guess Mastin Kipp is wise enough to say he doesn’t want to be Wayne Dyer. Just as I’m finally waking up enough to know I don’t want to be him either. Nor do I want to be Mastin Kipp. No, I want to be Shannon Crane.

Wow, really. Guess what? I already AM Shannon Crane.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I have to add to the world of discourse that isn’t already out there. How is my message unique? In other words, why would anyone want to listen to Shannon Crane?

The end result of all that questioning was this: the world needs as many of us out here sharing from our heart as it can get. The messages that Mastin Kipp shares in his daily blog are the same messages I’ve been reading in other new age and self help books. My message isn’t really any different either. Nope, nothing incredibly unique here.

But, you know what? We need as many reminders as we can get to live a life of gratitude, grace and love. And we need as many people out here reminding us as there are people. Imagine if everyone you met shared themselves with the same depth, honesty and heart-felt meaning as Mastin Kipp, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsch … and Shannon Crane.

Oh what a wonderful world it would be …

The Stories We Tell

It’s official. My cats are more popular than my blog postings. The video of one of my cats in her window seat got 9 “Likes” on Facebook versus an average of 2 “Likes” when I post a blog. Good thing I’m not writing to impress my friends or family.

I actually think my Facebook friends are a bit relieved to see a return to pictures of my cats and more simple things. Probably because all my posts about awakening in love are a bit too deep – or at least too in-depth for the time it takes to really contemplate the messages I’m sharing. Perhaps Facebook is meant to be a medium only for our fast-paced social connecting.

Yet all of what I’ve just written are assumptions and made up stories I’ve told myself. It’s interesting how often we make up stuff to explain things. Then we can get really defensive that it’s the “truth” and forget that they are just perceptions.

What I find so fascinating is how often I don’t catch myself living in that fantasy world. Someone doesn’t email me back, or my phone call isn’t returned, and I’ve created a whole story around the reason why, which may or may not be true. I think we all do this to some extent and most of the time it’s not conscious.

Becoming more aware of the stories we tell ourselves is a great step in re-creating our life. It’s certainly one I’m in the process of remembering so I can be more fully awake. Letting go of what I think may be true and opening myself up to possibilities is a great practice.

I always get excited when I think about how our perceptions, and how we choose to make meaning of our lives, is in direct relationship to the quality of our life. It’s such a simple concept but one I often forget. And yet I believe it’s one of our most powerful tools in creating a life we love.

As I’ve been contemplating what that life looks like for me, I realized it’s the qualities of life that matter more than the content. For example, what I’m doing is less important than bringing in the qualities of love, peace, joy and serenity. So, then I stop and wonder what’s keeping me from having that right here, right now?

It’s been over six weeks since I’ve been “set free” from my corporate job, and while I had a nice short retreat up at a hermitage in the mountains, most of the time I’ve been a bit stressed out worried about my next steps. My days have been filled with a lot of job searching, resume’ rewriting, and LinkedIn activity. Mostly I’ve been drowning in a state of fear while frantically looking for the lifeline of faith to pull me up.

What’s been missing is FUN, TRUST and RELAXATION. I’ve felt like I’ve worked harder unemployed than I did when I was employed. The summer is over and I didn’t take advantage of having a little paid time off while I was getting a severance check.

Granted this sounds like I’m beating up on myself, but really I’m just becoming more aware of how I’ve been telling myself a story. In that story I end up not creating a life I love, not finding a job, and eventually losing my house. Cancel. Clear.

It’s important we tell ourselves stories we want to create, even if it looks like they aren’t true at the moment. Somewhere between the perception of the version we think is true, and the version we want to be true, magic can happen. It starts with telling a different story.

I’m thankful for my Facebook community for reminding me to change the stories I tell. The “Likes” I get or don’t get really don’t mean anything except the meaning I give to them. What is most important is to remember I am my own authority and I can write whatever story I want.