Finding My Way

My message is the practice of compassion, love, and kindness. – Dali Lama

In the midst of chaos, it can be challenging to find center. When our life appears in ruins, how can we see the budding of a flower?

I’ve been on a hiatus, caught up in the drama of my life and leaving my blogs unfinished or unpublished on my laptop. It’s hard to share with others when things are difficult or unclear. In the midst of it all, my site was hacked, and apparently became the latest resource to get viagra. LoL.

I’m not tech savvy. The hackers managed to insert their links in a way that I couldn’t see them, even when logged on as administrator of the site. Changing my password didn’t seem to fix the problem either. Eventually, I accepted I couldn’t fix it without help, so forked out the money to pay for monthly website security.

So, here I am again; back at the keyboard determined to get back on track. I’m still working through the same challenges of figuring out my life. Only this time, I’m writing the blog into the site and not in my word program (where it seems to get lost without further action.)

I’ve wondered lately if the pressure of finding our life purpose doesn’t set many of us up for constant frustration and dissatisfaction. I’m not sure about anyone else, however, I seem to have a cycle of getting enthusiastic about an idea, only to find my interest wane. It feels as if one day I’m clear about what I want to do with my life, and shortly thereafter it’s all muddled.

As a result, it feels as if my life is going nowhere. I end up disillusioned and discontent. I’ve often written about distractions, and the ebb and flow of what I’ve termed “awakening” and “slumbering.” I know that life is a story we tell, and we can change the story. I think I’ve got a healthy dose of awareness (i.e. understanding that life isn’t meant to go anywhere, but to be lived), however there must be some block between my “knowing” and my “doing” or “feeling.”

I want to have all the answers, even as I realize having them would make life rather boring. I want to know where I’m going, even when I understand that would take away the magic of Life unfolding in Its infinite mystery. I want to feel as if I have something to offer to help ease suffering, even as I quote Pema Chödrön, saying: “Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:  room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

As I continue this journey of sharing my journey, these are the things that are becoming clear:

— It is difficult to share our weaknesses and be honest when we don’t have it all together. In this age of Facebook and Twitter illusions that Life is perfect, it’s a challenge to be real. Rather than run away or pretend, we can face our highs and lows and understand they are a part of the tapestry of life.

— Compassion for ourselves is essential if we are to have compassion for others. Our compassion deepens as we love our selves more fully, embrace our humanness, question our thoughts and assumptions, stay present, be vulnerable and keep it real.

— The best way to change the world is to show up every day and spread love. Slowing down, seeing the beautiful souls who cross your path, and appreciating the little things are all ways to spread love. Try smiling at random strangers and being kind to everyone you meet (starting with yourself!)

— Life will always offer up distractions, challenges, obstacles and problems. When we get caught up in them, we can lose sight of the bigger picture. Getting outside, taking a walk, breathing in the air and looking at the sky can help us recenter and recharge.

When we feel caught in the midst of chaos, the best thing we can do is slow down. Take a deep breath. Feel the fabric against our skin, or the warmth of the sun against our face. Look closely for the rays of light, and remember all is evolving. Everything changes. Trust this moment is here for our growth and lean into gratitude for the lessons we are learning. All will be well as we return our focus to the essence of our being, and remember we are pure love, pure light and already perfection.

Thanks for reading and for sharing the journey. We are all on this caravan of life. We may be traveling on different paths or in different parts of the world, but we are alike in our humanity and we can do the most good by keeping an open heart and open mind.